Milking Rabbits on Farmville

I am the least games-backgrounded of any Mudlark, but when I start playing something it is hard to prise me away.

So you shouldn’t be surprised that while virtual tumbleweeds blow over Matt’s and Toby’s little withered patches on Farmville, I tend an extensive , level 30 , plantation, .

I say “tend” but I am more share-cropper than land-baron. I grind away in my fields, break my back climbing my extensive assortment of fruit trees and bending down to milk the bloody animals.

Sometimes I lie in bed early of a morning listening to Farming Today on BBC Radio 4 and comparing the experiences of the “real” farmers they interview there to mine. I have to say they have it cushy. At least they get a few months between sowing and harvesting. I’ve only just relaxed enough to plant watermelons , red wheat , pineapples and potatoes, crops that give me two or three days before I need to worry about them.

Another thing – they are allowed to actually slaughter their animals. Bloomin Farmville can’t let any creature perish.

So the pigs never become bacon – they collect truffles. All fowl ONLY lay eggs – no chicken in a basket here, thank you very much. And the rabbits, reindeer (I know – I sold them all today) , horses and even cats all get brushed and their hair collected.

I ask you – Who brushes a rabbit?

Why not milk them ? Well – Dutch farmers have started doing just that , so Farming Today announced to me this morning at about 5.50 am. They call it Pharming – drug inhibitors and stuff from the teats of specials Bugses. National Geographic are on it too.

So I reckon our next game should be Pharmville – growing drugs in interesting ways. I’ll have to leave it there – I’ve got 50 plots of potatoes to lift before I shear the sheep.